I forgot the coffee beans...

I forgot the freakin coffee beans! How could I do that? It’s my fault the Packers lost. I FUMBLED!! I DIDN’T GET RID OF THE BALL FAST ENOUGH! I TOSSED THE INTERCEPTION. It’s all my fault!

Ok, you get the idea of this blog. I’m superstitious to a T and fretted for days on the ‘way’ Sunday should progress. Do I wear the #12 jersey (as that is customarily only for HOME games)? Do I wear the magic underwear? Do I wear the SAME outfit I’ve been wearing for how many late fall games? Do I do a shot of Sambuca? If so, it must have coffee beans. What sort of hat? Something new? Or an old stand by? Do you have any idea what goes into a big game like this? I’m sure the Packers weren’t as freaked out as I was. That’s just wrong! (Note, I did settle on the same old outfit that’s been working the last 8 weeks – superstitious, you bet!)

So the plan was to travel to an establishment in Appleton – the same establishment where I watched the first Packer/Viking game (and we know that outcome, so I questioned if going to this place was even a viable option). But, I also felt like you gotta exorcise those demons at some point. So, off to Wiseguys ( www.wiseguyspizzeria.com ) I travelled. Kevin, being smarter and wiser than I give him credit for, wanted absolutely nothing to do with my ‘game plan.’ Besides, he had an 8 pm hockey game and somehow knew that there was no way he’d make that if he were with me in Appleton (again, wise beyond his years…or his beard).

The usual suspects were at Wiseguys – Brenda, Stuart, Lance, Patty and then a smattering of ‘newbies’ – Nate, Amy, Brooke, etc. Odd, I heard many bars were not super busy – obviously, with it being a ‘school night’ most people opted to stay home and watch the big game. Hindsight is always 20/20, right?

Well, we were determined to will that win. And what better way to decree it, than with a Sambuca shot? Trent, our friendly bartender, had the black gold (yes, Sambuca does come in a thick, black version too if you’ve ever wondered) and then I realized my faux paux. NO COFFEE BEANS. I even said out loud on Sunday am – I am taking coffee beans with me. Well, they searched the kitchen at Wiseguys – no coffee beans…just coffee grounds. Nope, that would NOT do. Screw it, we would forego the Sambuca shot. Hindsight...I know.

Now, as this Sambuca 4 alarm was going off, Stuart said to me, and I quote, “I’m not doing any Sambuca shots or any shots at all – I gave them up in 2010 – no shots, my new years resolution.” Make note of this.

Everyone has their cocktails of choice; our numbers are set; choice seats in front of three tvs are secured – it’s time for kick-off. Everyone is pumped. There is Packer love everywhere. Woooo wooo!! Kick-off and then within seconds, I think I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in lair of rattlesnakes! ‘ F*ing Rodgers!’ ‘If we lose, it’s his fault.’ ‘Rodgers, you CS’ (which did illicit an ‘easy buddy, you don’t want to go there with me, do you?’) Etc., etc., etc., Well, if you’re gonna go off on #12, get ready to rumble. So I spent the next few minutes calming the natives because I did feel this was going to be ok. Aaron was nervous – the whole team was nervous – they just needed to shake it off. Well, as you know, it went a little more ‘south’ after that first score and well, the natives continued to be less than hospitable. And who was I sitting next to, but good ol Stu! And good ol Stu was NOT in a good mood at all. “I’m leaving at halftime,” he said (as well as many other vivid descriptions and word choices to describe Aaron and the Packers and this and that). There is a reason that Brenda does not go to GBP games with Stuart – he takes it so serious and when the games go south, his mood goes south. Well, Sr. Mary Sunshine here was NOT going to have any of that today. Negative begets negative. So instead of leaving Stuart alone, I chose to pick on him. Visualize a bear in a cage…and me poking it with a stick. That’s how I took to Stuart. I continued to badger and spew positive affirmations at him. If Brenda didn’t love me, I think he would have taken me out and run me over with his truck. HAHAHA! It was worth it! Because guess what? All of a sudden, it started turning around.

Mike and Stuart are all smiles now that the Packer's have decided to show up and play.

Amy, Stu, Nate and Lance. Hey, we even let Nate stay despite his clothing choice.

Now, at Wiseguys, whenever the Packers score, you get a free shot (thank you, Mike). Right here, you should stop and go ‘oh oh – this is not good at all.’ Because, as you know, the Packers scored 7 times. That means 7 shots. That is NOT good on a school night. Heck, that isn’t good on any night. But, again Miss Positive, to the rescue. As the first platter of shots came around, I said to Stu, ‘if you don’t do this shot and they lose, it’s all your fault.’ I admit – that is just plain mean, but we needed to pull out all the stops today (but don't I say that for every Packer game?). Well, it didn’t take long and Stuart’s 2010 resolution was OUT THE WINDOW. Wooo wooo! Success! And then, another score and another shot. And then, yet another score and another shot. Oh yup, people were starting to feel that ‘positive energy.’

Patty hates my camera and has told me many times where I can 'place' it.



Before you know it, it’s halftime. By now, Stuart is NOT leaving. He has decided he’s going to eat $8 worth of pizza at the $5 pizza buffet. He’s cranking open a new beer and it’s almost like a new game was going to start. Brenda also brought along these goofy 'gummie eyeballs.' I'm not sure when, but one ended up in my water glass. As our bartendress was giving me a filler-up on h2o, I heard the gentleman next to me ask 'what is that?' Well, I decided he should join in the fun as well so I gave him not only one, but two of the gummie eyeballs.

If you see this man near your neighborhood, call the cops!!


Then, I decided to push the envelope a little more and told him to put those eyeballs on his ni**les and well, he obliged (how many times have I said that if you want something, you just ask). Ta daaaaaaaaaaaa! This alone is worth the price of admission. I'm so glad his wife/girlfriend was enjoying the antics as much as I was. Not so sure of the rest of the bar, but who cares - go make your own fun!



Speechless.


A few years back, there was a playoff game at Lambeau – against Seattle (not the snowy one either – I think it was 2004). Anyhow, that game went into overtime and I just couldn’t watch – I would run into the concourse whenever a play would occur. Then run back in to see what happened. Marc and Barb and Kevin and the rest of this section caught onto my ‘antics’ and started telling me when it was safe to come back in. Hey, it was working! And guess what – it totally worked. That’s when Marc and crew were yelling the now ‘infamous’ - “Pick It! Pick It!” (Or, as I like to spell it, PICKETT! PICKETT!). And I believe Al Harris did just that to win the game in OT. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures and I decided that I needed to pull that out again. Whenever the Pack was in at offense in the second half on Sunday, I would pull my hat over my eyes, drop my head between my knees and plug my ears - while holding my middle finger and thumb together to pray. Again, can I say it started working? So in between this body position and then celebrating with high fives and hugs and screams (Stuart should be deaf in his left ear for a few days and have bruises all over his left bicep from me pounding on him) and yells, oh, and then more shots, I really don’t remember much of the second half. But it didn’t matter, did it? Because they were coming back with a VENGEANCE! The energy was electric!

Poor Brooke - she's new to this group of banchees. I think she was texting her mom to come and save her from us. I don't blame her in the least.

Tied up with seconds to go. I could not wait – I made a dash for the rest area. Oh man, I had to hurry and get back to my chair. Well, I flew out of the rest room and something, I don’t know what, made me say to myself, ‘Rackers is gonna miss this field goal’ and as I came sprinting into the bar area, that is EXACTLY what he did. OMG!!! Overtime. The most amazing comeback in playoff history. All the naysaying and hateful crap was forgotten. All the trash talk about #12 was forgiven. New game, baby!

Mike, coming up with his next 'shot du jour' for the Packer faithful.

Now, there’s one thing I have neglected to mention. Throughout the game, the directv or whatever cable channel they had at the bar, would go ‘out’ for a few minutes. Just goofy digitized images – no sound – no image. This happened a few times during the game. And then, as if on cue, it happened again. On the fourth play of overtime. The bar fell silent and everyone tried to figure out just ‘what’ had happened. Well, soon enough, we got our answer. Complete shock. Disbelief. Huhhhh? (For me, I was in total denial until 7 am on Monday morning, when Kevin found me draped across the kitchen island - moaning ever so softly– until he lifted my head off the Corian to see if I was conscious or comatose).
NOT AGAIN! This happened…two years ago…January 20th….Lambeau freakin Field. NO! NOT AGAIN! NOOOOOOOOO!!! Uggg. I drew my hat back over my eyes and my head flopped back into my lap. Noooooooo!!

The first thing out of Brenda's mouth after the game was 'Go Brett.' Not even a second passed and there's that name again. Why? Why? Why?

Then Stu, who had been such a ‘model’ GBP fan for the past three hours, made the mistake of dissing Aaron again. The line had been crossed. I could not, and would not, remain silent. I whined to Brenda…”Stuart’s being mean.” Brenda said, “Hit him in the b*lls.” No, I couldn’t, could I? Well, she grabbed him first and I thought, ‘you’re darn tootin I could!’ So throughout the next hour or more Stuart took his share of kicks and hits to the nut sack (and as we’ve discussed in prior blogs, nothing is funnier than when someone gets hit in the marble sack); pinches to the inner thighs, and countless other attacks. It was like a WWE match broke out in the bar area of Wiseguys – between Disco Stu and Mrs. Aaron Rodgers. Bar stools were flying; stuff was thrown about; wrestling moves were maneuvered; I considered biting him at one point (but he is a solicitor and lord knows what I would have caught), so common sense prevailed in this case. Obviously, the Packer loss had NOT sunk in because fun was yet to be had. Party on, Garth!


I'm just going to let you go thru the sequence here. This is like 30 seconds out of the match. How old are we?




Finally, a tag team partner intervened for me to deliver the final, crushing blow!!


Anyhow, I knew it was time to leave once Lance and Brooke returned to the bar AFTER going to see a movie after the game. “You’re still here?’ Lance asked Brenda. Then my phone rang and it was Kevin – “I’m done with hockey…where are you?” Oh oh! Time to exit…stage right. We all exchanged hugs and high fives and congratulations on an exciting season – and ended it with…wait until this fall!!

So now, I am left to put away all the Packer gear. The ceremonial washing and retiring of the #12 jersey (again, with hopes that I’ll be able to squeeze into that boys medium come September); stashing the tailgate box and remaining Sambuca; putting away the Packer duffle that is maxed out with hats and clothes and cheese bras and cat in the hat hat and pompons and you name it. Time to put away the Packer tree. Just time to let go of the past and be happy with how the season unfolded. But, just think what ‘could have’ happened had the officials really shown up for the game? With that said, I’ve decided that ALL the NFL officials need to go and they need to start fresh. They are getting lax and lazy and it’s time to clean house. So, watch for my new website to be up and running soon - www.nflofficialssuck.com - I hope you’ll sign the petition so we can let the commissioner know that we aren’t going to tolerate these haphazard black and white striped clowns. Enough is enough. It’s time to get more officials on the field (with up to date glasses or contact lenses) – impose a retirement age (yes, Grandpa Munster needs to give it up) – hire women refs out there (and you know this is past due…way past due) – and microchip the ball (for pete’s sake – it’s 2010 – get with the times), Or, do away with refs all together and call the game from the booth. They really don’t have any redeeming quality anymore, do they? Think about it. Ahhh, can you tell I’m feeling better already? Thank you Pack for a FUN season.

Now, the question needs to be asked….WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR THE NEXT 7 MONTHS?? Do not fear – we’ve got the playoffs yet to deal with and BRETT (already good stuff in the works here, people); the re-emergence of the now infamous JOLLY RODGERS biking/running/triathlon/drinking team as we expand and grow and participate in our 2010 'strategic planning session' this coming weekend; outdoor Badger Hockey at Camp Randall on February 6th (go to it – it’s gonna be fun); Super Bowl; winter skate skiing and snow shoeing; and then my about/face as I jump into triathlon class and preparing for the…Green Bay ½ Marathon on May 16th at, you know where, Lambeau Field; other runs; summer boating fun; Race the Lake on August 22nd and then, before you know it, we'll be back to talking football again! Same sh*t – different day. Weeee!! Jump on the bandwagon with me! You know you want to! Do it - it will be fun! Or at least go buy some gummi eyeballs and make your own fun for the next few months!