No, I did NOT take off on the cop bike. But you know where I would have ended up, had I? And then we'd be back to where we were on 11/1. And this time, it might not have been so funny. Or maybe it would have? What lessons did I learn in this past week? Wow, where to start, but I’ll give it a shot…
- DO NOT touch anything outside of the safe confines of your house unless there is antibacterial lotion close by. People are just germy – plain and simple.
- Mr. Freezes are the best thing God made when you have a sore throat. Afrin is also an amazing fix, but then when you find out you’re shooting battery acid into your nose, the ‘amazement’ turns into ‘rabid fear’ and will scare you straight off that sh(t.
- Hot tea and brandy is good for a few sips – then you’ll want to vomit when you take that last gulp. Don’t do it. My thinking is that people ‘say’ this will cure you of a sore throat, probably because you’ll forget about your sore throat when you’re hovering over the porcelain god.
- Never tell people the chili you’ve made is vegetarian.
- Sambuca and these magic underwear really do ensure Packer victories.
- Patron Tequila is the devil (not Sambuca like so many of you have told me).
- Green Bay Police officers are truly, the best! Hands down! Rosendale Police Officers, are not – because they ruined my Christmas card idea in 09 and for that, I will never forgive them. Well, maybe I’ll forgive them if we can come to a compromise in 2010.
If you need more lessons, you just let me know because man, these revelations are coming at me at a fast and furious pace as we close out the year. Enough! My brain can’t handle anymore. Right now, I need to recap the last ‘regular’ season game at Lambeau Field for everyone.
Yes, I’ve been deathly ill so Sunday was looking kinda iffy. Even Kevin knew I was not 100% into it when I couldn’t determine what ‘time’ I wanted to depart for GB. “Hmmm, I think 9 am is fine with me,” I said. You know I’m sick when I’m that wishy-washy about going to a GBP game!! But then, Brenda called a little after 8 and that lit a fire under my buttocks. Let’s roll. Let’s take the chili. Bring the football. It’s time to party.
We arrived a little after 10 am and got our favorite parking spot again – thank you to Matt and his Dad for getting us rock star parking throughout the year. Love that lot! Can I tell you that the drive up was absolutely gorgeous? The hoar frost was amazing on the trees! Really, if I hadn’t been en route to see the green & gold, I would have been out on snow shoes in the back eating up this beautiful gift from above. Those mornings just take your breath away and well they should! If you didn’t take time to see the beauty out there, shame on you!
We fired up the propane; cracked open a beer and Kevin and I tossed the pigskin around a little bit – that is the first time this year that I’ve done that at the lot and it felt good. I ain’t sayin, but I’m just sayin, that I can throw a football. Must be all the studying and analyzing that I do of #12, huh? Or the QB gods have looked favorably at my right arm? Whatever the case, for a ‘mature broad,’ I can throw and I can catch so whenever you want, just bring it! I can handle it.
Paul and Mike were the first partygoers to arrive and promptly lit up their now renowned cigars. It must have been the smoke that drew the rest of the crew, as Brenda and her posse arrived shortly after. Can I just say there was a whole lot of smoking on Sunday? Before, during and after the game. I’m pretty sure I smoked a whole pack of Camels myself at Curly’s Pub right after halftime. Sorry smokers, but I cannot WAIT until next July when all of Wisconsin is smoke-free. Anyhow, back to the smoke.
Paul pulling on a Cuban.
Brenda drinking Bahamian Rum.
Mike pulling off a Dominican.
Brenda pulling off, well, who knows at this point. But she is one of the only chicks I know who will smoke a whole cigar. Well, maybe her and Monica Lewinsky. Was that bad? Ok, that was bad. tee hee hee
Of course, Mike and Paul were pulling on their stogies, but then Brenda had one in her hand; and then Kevin and then I think Lance and Nick. Did I miss something here? At first I thought that cigars kind of gave our group a ‘maturity upgrade,’ but as soon as Lance and Nick started ‘bag tagging’ each other and the filthy words and jokes started flowing, I knew that the maturity level was back where I liked it – right above gutter level. Whew!
Mike, Kevin and Paul - a few of the Barriz Open boys. Of course, the talk was about Tiger and his future in golf. They were also discussing where to hide their nine irons in the off season just in case their wives want to pull an 'Elin' on them. Pssst, my Big Bertha will do just fine, thank you!
Nick and Lance are attorneys in the making. I'm going to be sure to save all these photos in case I need their 'assistance' down the road. Do you think they'll swing me a deal? Ok, so since I was ill, I decided to cook what I wanted for a change. So I went with a HUGE pot of veggie chili. Now, it isn’t a recipe that has tofu or tempeh or quinoa or bulghur or any other funky grain or protein in it. It’s basically a bean chili and it is good! Well, I made the mistake of telling Matt, our parking friend, ‘it’s veggie chili.’ Well, you would think I just put a dagger thru his heart. And that, of course, lead to the snowball effect. NO ONE would eat my veggie chili. WTF? I love this stuff. What’s not to like – I even added a full can of beer to it this time. Add some cheese; some oyster crackers, a little malt vinegar and some noodles. It’s my all-time winter favorite. Seriously, if anyone wants some, please let me know because otherwise Kevin and I will be eating this for the next two weeks…morning, noon and night. Note to self – NEVER do veggie anything anymore at a GBP game. Lack of animal flesh really makes the natives restless!
Paul, whatever you do, keep that damn cigar away from me - I'm not that kind of girl!! Now Patty, I'm not so sure??So, the chili scared the sh*t out of people, BUT the Sambuca never scares anyone anymore. Yes, I did hear that poor Mike couldn’t remember the first half of the Ravens game, but I think it had more to do with his ’32 oz. sippy cup’ of scotch, as opposed to the three Sambuca shots that he did. Doesn’t matter. Everyone always comes back and says that the ‘sambuca did this or that to me.’ Well guess what, the Packers win when we drink this stuff so think of it as taking one for the team. You gotta be a team player if you’re gonna tailgate with me. We had half a bottle of ‘Sammy’ to drink and I was bound and determined that it had to be finished before we got into the stadium.
How many games has it taken me now to figure out the 'self timer' feature on this damn camera? Thank you, Mike - he is always looking out for me...his little angel! Ok, I gotta tell this angel story - go back to 1993. Halloween game vs who the heck knows. I lived on Ridge Road just down from the stadium and was dressed as an 'angel' for the game - white leggings (stop laughing); white turtleneck, white sheet; white wings; gold halo; red, white and blue Chuck Taylors (yes, they are that old). As I'm 'flying' thru the lot prior to the game, I run into Mike. To this day, that is the image he has of me - little Kathy Krug from KI at Lambeau...as an angel. So true, so true. 
Here it is...the one, the only, Sammy!!! It is Packer 'win juice.' Everybody ran after they had their allotted three shots – obviously, there is something to that ‘fear factor.’ I guess it would have to be ok to leave a little left in the bottle.
Mike and Paul bailed with their Styrofoam ‘floor mats’ (fyi – Stacy and David ‘made off’ with these quality pieces at the Ravens game and this time, M and P were NOT going to be duped again – they kept an eye out for any other would-be thieves); Brenda and Patty high tailed it after ‘Shakira’ Patty ripped her jeans up to the back of her thigh – I think she did it to elude the ‘underwear checks’ that were going on at select gates (hey, new terrorist alerts mean that you ALL better be wearing clean underwear from now on at events – it’s gonna start happening so be ready).
Booty II, Santa's runaway elf and Booty I. These three are just a recipe for trouble! PS - Kevin HAS to keep the beard now until the Packers' season is done. He's had it since this 'win streak' has started so it's gotta be good luck. But then, it's gotta go. He even commented during the Bears/Viking game, 'Childress has my beard.' EEEEKKK!!! Sorry, I ain't sleepin with the enemy - thank goodness we have a guest bedroom! I told Lance and Nick that they were being very well behaved (as opposed to last year’s game) – they assured me that by halftime and end of game I would see a dramatic difference. Hey, no peer pressure from me.
The calm before the storm.Finally, my new Amish husband, Kevin and I, made our way into the stadium and who was there to frisk me…the friendly officer that let me get into his squad car for that now famous ‘indecent exposure’ photo. I reminded him of ‘who’ I was as I stood in front of him spread eagle (I’m telling you – you do that and 99.9% of the time they will NOT frisk you because they know that is exactly what you want – listen to me – I know my stuff). Anyhow, he asked ‘how did that photo turn out’ and I said ‘beautiful – big hit all around.’ Didn’t I tell you that the GB cops are the best!
I had to get to my seat because WI’s own Danny Gokey (of American Idol fame) was going to sing the National Anthem. And I gotta tell you, he did an AWESOME job. Really good. Bravo! And a military fly over – again, if you don’t get chills at Lambeau when they do a flyover, somebody needs to take your pulse. It cuts right through you.
For this game, Kevin and I sat in the seats that my sister Barb and I sat in almost two years ago for the Seattle playoff game (and probably one of the BEST games I’ve ever been too – ask people who were at that snowy Seattle playoff game in early 08 and most everyone will say it was the most fun game ever – it just was). So, would the GBP shine like they did last time I was in those seats? Darn tootin they did. For once, they put this game away in the first half and it felt good.
We met up with the crew in the Leinie Lodge at halftime. Ok, Lance and Nick did not disappoint me at all. They took the bull by the horns and embraced the beer and whatever else was flowing in the first half of the game and were getting to be in fine form.
Oh yea!! That's what I'm talking about!! Thank you God for making beer!
You've never seen this photo before, huh?Same old, same old in the Leinie Lodge and then onto Curly’s for shots with Brenda and Patty. Then back to catch the 4th quarter.
Ok, there are two extremely funny events of the day that I still laugh out loud about. First one, a guy one section over from us is clad in one of those grey camouflage Car-hart ‘jumpsuits’ that are all the rage right now and one of those beautiful green and white GBP toques like Susan wore in that mid October game (see previous blog). He turns around in the second period…beer in one hand; flask of brandy or whatever else in the other hand. He raises both arms and does the customary hoot and holler to show off his two fisted drinking ability to the nine rows behind him. Ok, as you know, you CANNOT bring in any sort of flask to Lambeau. Now, just down from our section are three police officers – just talking. Kevin makes note of the scene and tells me to ‘watch this.’ Within seconds of Mr. Camo jumpsuit showing off his liquor, he is being escorted out of the stands by the three officers. What a flippin IDIOT! Hahaha! I love it. I can still picture it in my mind. I can’t help it, I’m laughing and booing the cops for hauling him out (as are many other people in our section – seriously, could this guy have been any dumber?). And then, a minute later, he is walking back to his seat – sans flask! Wooo wooo – again, the GB police rock! They took his ill-gotten booty away from him and let him go back to enjoy the game. It must have been the holiday spirit. Lesson here – if you’re gonna take something illegal into the game, don’t be showing it off for 200 of your closest friends to see.
Second funny event – at the end of the third quarter, the new custom at Lambeau Field is to play the Beer Barrel Polka so the fans can sing and dance along. Well, on Sunday, they gave the microphone to Danny Gokey and, of course, we all thought he was going to ‘sing’ the Beer Barrel Polka – could it get any better? Instead, he takes the mike and says ‘hey everybody, when you go home, check out itunes where my new single just landed, blah, blah, blah.’ BOOOOOOOO…came the cheer from the crowd. Hahaha! Again, how funny is that? Sing the friggin polka, schmoe – don’t be hawking your itunes to us. People are really loaded by this point (probably moreso than other game this year – probably because we were finally ahead and there was no need to stay straight for a change) and they just want to dance and have fun. Poor Danny. I guess he learned a lesson, huh?
Ok, maybe there is one other kinda funny thing. For whatever reason, Lambeau Field now plays ‘Jump Around’ in the first quarter. WTF? No one wants to jump around (except me) at this point in the game – seriously, people just sit there like bumps on a log. But then, they fire it up again at the two minute warning in the fourth quarter. THEN watch people ‘jump around.’ You can see the alcohol really kick in when you compare the two times ‘jump around’ is played. It’s funny! Watch next time you’re there – you’ll laugh and remember this blog. I heart “Jump Around.” And, as a safety measure, I now ALWAYS make sure that NO ONE around me is holding onto anything liquid when this song comes on. In fact, they should make an announcement for people to ‘put down your drinks for the next two minutes.’ That’s all I’m gonna say. End of discussion.
Well, as you know, the game ends on a high note – the last regular game of the season at Lambeau. People are happy – we are going to the playoffs – Driver, Jennings and Woodson all run around the inside of the stadium giving high fives to the crowd. Great energy! And there is this ‘feeling’ of something good yet to come. Matt, our parking attendant mentioned it; I’ve been kinda ‘feeling’ it. Now that the game is over and we are in the first round of the playoffs, I think others are also ‘feeling it.’ You know what it is…maybe we’ll all be back here on January 24? Really, there was just this underlying ‘good vibe’ that I can’t explain. I guess we’ll just wait and see.
So I make my way back to the truck and again, NO ONE wants to heat up the veggie chili (fine – I get it, ok?). Lance and Nick are definitely at the point they were last year at this game (which is always worth a laugh). There is more smoking going on – celebratory, victory cigars (I’m sorry, but whenever I think of cigars, I think of Bill Clinton – I just can’t get it out of my head – probably never will – there, now do you want a cigar??).
Nothing says 'sexy' like three old codgers blowing smoke rings at young, 20 year old girls as they go by the tailgate party! Where there's smoke, there's fire, baby!
Drunk and Drunker and me, the Dos Equis International Woman of Intrigue. HAHAHA! Don't you love those Dos Equis commericals? Ahhh, I do!More ‘bag tagging’ – and as I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, whenever a guy gets hit in the nut s*ck, it is funny. You know it is.
Nick is at the point of saying 'oooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww' as you see what Lance has done to him. It's so mean, but it's so 14 year old! It's so Packer game!!I hear more whining about ‘I need meat now’ that we shut the party down early and head to Los Banditos – where the crowd can get ‘their meat’ and I can get margaritas and CCQ and a ‘golf cart.’ Nirvana. Everyone is happy!
There we go!! This is the best way to end a season at Lambeau - smiling, happy people! I heart it!!And then, before you know it, it’s time to head back to GB or Appleton or Pickett or wherever else you call home. My voice is gone and it sounds like I’ve smoked TWO packs of Camels now. I peel my standard issue ‘uniform’ off and call it a night. Unpack the truck in the am and come across a little bag of coffee beans. At first, my thought is to just grind it up for coffee, but then, I think again and decide it’s best to keep those beans and that little bit of Sambuca and the tailgate kit ‘handy.’ Because, you know I’m feeling this ‘feeling.’ And others are feeling it. So, maybe there’s something to it? Lesson here – listen to your gut…maybe it’s telling you something??
Woooo wooooo!!! Doo doo doo...doo doo doo doo...Go! Pack! Go!!
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