I know. You're wondering - WHAT THE ???? I got busted at Lambeau (I know - it's long over due - very funny!). And the worst part of this whole thing - it was BEFORE the game even started. So, would someone please tell me who won because when you're sitting in the holding cell at Brown County, they aren't too forthcoming with info like that.
Here's the tale - enjoy!! I was walking around Lambeau prior to the game and decided I wanted to just kind of 'feel' the energy that was building. What better place to go than to where the opposing team bus parks and unloads. As I was walking to this area, I realized that the shorts I wore (right there you should know this is not going to end good - shorts and it was flippin FREEZING - or I should say I was freezing) were missing the button at the top of the fly. I was wondering why they felt kind of 'baggy' and 'loose.' SOB! So what do you do in this case? The button is long gone. I have no idea how I'm going to keep my pants up thru the entire game. It is most uncomfortable. And, I have to figure out a solution and quick as I am carrying my camera, purse, GBP SNUGGIE (yes, you read correctly - they make Packer snuggies and my thought was that it would keep me warm during the game - most people in their right mind would just WEAR LONG PANTS, but not me), beer and ticket...and trying to hold my shorts up. This is no lie, people...I am in trouble.
So I stop and try to figure out a game plan. The only thing that is going to help is a safety pin. Who carries those anymore? I figure I'll head to the women's rest room at the stadium and beg anyone who enters for a safety pin. Well, that was fruitless because, of course, no one carries these anymore. Ugggg. I'm cold. I'm not drunk. My shorts are hanging like some rapper dude. I want to cry. So I start heading back to my car to figure out a solution there...where it is warm and there is a beer and hopefully some sort of device I can use to keep my trousers up.
As I'm crossing the street, the sirens are blaring and I'm being told to step back from the road. The Viking buses are coming and they want NO ONE (especially some woman wearing a #12 GBP jersey) near these buses. Just as I'm being pushed back, I drop my ticket! Well, hello - that's like being at Defcon 5. I drop everything else as well and bend over to pick up my ticket before it blows away. WRONG MOVE! Because, as I'm bending over, my shorts are falling to my ankles. And since I like to live on the edge, especially at a GBP game, I'm not wearing any sort of under garment (more than you really needed to know, but trust me, you need to know this to learn why I ended up in the back of a squad car). THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME, IS IT? I AM MORTIFIED! As are all the law enforcement agents and the PER MAR event security dudes. I'm embarrassed as h*ll and they think I am MOONING the team buses on purpose!!! OMG! No! No! No!
Well, before you know it, I am being thrown around like a rag doll by some bike cop and a PER MAR dude and having my shorts yanked back up (which I was most happy to help with) and they march me to the nearest squad car. I had a TON of explaining to do and crying and weeping and saying 'please don't call my husband,' blah, blah, blah. I even had to show them my shorts and the missing button area so they knew I was not kidding. I truly would not have mooned the Viking buses! Ok, we all know that is so not true, but just oblige me, please? Anyhow, after they realized I was not drinking. That I have no record or rap sheet. That I LOVE the GBP. They realized a terrible mistake had been made and they let me go. So that, my friends, is the story of how I ended up in a squad car at Lambeau Field.
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