Not Enough Gu to make it thru...

Enuf said!


Did you like that last post? hahaha! Good stuff. IT WAS A JOKE! I did not get arrested - I DID get into a squad car, but I did nothing to provoke it, but ask (my new mantra...you don't ask, you don't get so you might as well ask!). But seriously, I did lose my button (and thus, almost lost my pants) and ended up going to the first aid room at Lambeau to beg for a safety pin (or, as I told the paramedics, my pants ARE going to fall down and we do NOT want that to happen - not tonight). Kevin 'assisted' with that blog entry - he said to tell people that you mooned the Viking bus, and well, it just took off from there. Now, Debbie has alerted me to the fact that someone did indeed moon Favre, but it was not me. I swear! Thank you for all the laughs. My tummy hurts - again, the sign of a GREAT weekend! And Lynn pointed out my play on words in my email subject "em-bar-assed" - that one just fell out. Wow, I is creative, huh? Ok, onward...

I loathe the Vikings. I do. And I still think that anyone who is a Brett fan is now a Viking fan. That is ok. You can do that. I'm not going to lose sleep over it. Here is the one thing that I think EVERYONE is forgetting. This is a game. It's a business. A very profitable business, I might add. These kids get paid big $$, as do the coaches and staff and NFL corporate suits. It's entertainment. It's like the WWE or NBA or any of the other sports that are 'cooked.' That's it, gang. So don't get your undies in too much of a knot about Brett or TT or MM or Aaron (well, I am allowed to get my undies in a knot if you're picking on Aaron - that's just the way it is - my blog...my rules)- just go and have fun!

This is Madeline. This is the freakiest mask ever made. You just get the creeps looking at it. Ben was running away from this mask throughout the weekend - as was Marc. I believe he crapped himself a few times as Madeline and I hid with this stupid thing on. Halloween rocks!

So, with that said, we'll start on Friday afternoon. After arriving at my sister and bro in laws house with the Uncle Fester mask (and scaring the kids), Friday night was Badger Hockey in Madison with the family. Marge, Barb, Marc, Madeline and Ben. 6 tickets in the envelope. Uhhhhmmm. No, 4 tickets in the envelope. Chaos in sued. The missing tix were located and had to be picked up but then that put dinner into limbo. We certainly weren't looking for a dining experience near the university (especially on Halloween weekend) - maybe bar food at the Nitty Gritty or Dottie's? But since the ticket fiasco thru a wrench into the timeline, Red Shed for Long Island Iced Teas it was! Hey, they have food there too. And in hindsight, that was a-ok with a two year old and a 6 year old. Everybody wins!


Are these masks? No, it's me and my family. And, I have to add, is there anything more fun than a sporting event in Madison? Red Rocks!

This was Ben's first hockey game. For the most part, he behaved well. But then again, Madeline and I are relentless and love to pick on the little guy. Hopefully, he forgets about all this because otherwise, he will be putting plastic wrap over the toilet seat when I'm senile (maybe in four years?) to get me back for this abuse. Kids don't remember stuff, do they? So, first hockey game. Lots of laughs. A Badger win. The start of a great sports weekend.
Whoa! This was one of the refs we stopped after the game before he got into the ambulance - you know, it's always funny until someone takes a puck to the head!

Of course, when its time to go, we ask Ben 'do you want to go home?' He answers no. 'Do you want to go to the Red Shed.' YEAAAAAAA!! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!! But we opt to get as far away from State Street as we can with these impressionable kids. Besides, Saturday was a bigger day in the scheme of things.

Saturday - 8:52 am - Barb and I are back at the Red Shed and I ask the bartendress "what...do you sleep here?" To which she responded, "what about you two?" Touche! Enuf said. We were waiting for Brenda and Lynn and Lance - who surfaced about 9:15. Plenty o time for a couple cocktails and yes, Long Island Iced Teas for all!
Note that no one else is in the bar - they have long since started trekking to Camp Randall. We always seem to be a day late and a dollar short - go figure?

Let's face it - whatever is in a LIIT is just nasty when combined. But you certainly get the biggest bang for your buck when you drink these. Economic times are tough - I say remember that when you're ordering your cocktails. Just trying to be helpful. Well, I couldn't have just the medium, I had to go with the jumbo mason jar of this concoction. And I finished just in time to make our way to Camp Randall and watch the Badgers put a beat down on the Boilermakers. Ok, it was flippin cold. I was freezing. Something has changed in my make-up (because normally I can survive outdoors with little clothing - especially when there is 'liquid lubricant' involved). Not so on Saturday. Barb and I sat with Lance and TJ. Well, those two clowns left us 'old women' for a kegger party across from the stadium before the game. When they did surface, TJ had turned into Santa (which is probably good because he was wearing a tshirt - there was no way he'd make it as it was cold and windy and cloudy and well, just plain nasty).
Santa and his drunken elves.

Remember, there is no drinking at Camp Randall and we did not come prepared (besides, Kevin said if we were going to sneak a flask in, to be sure to put it on Lance - hahaha!). The two boys blew that popcorn stand in the 3rd period and my goal was to make it until "Jump Around" and then high-tail it as well. And that is what we did. Did I tell you I was cold? Freakin cold!

Game plan was to meet Brenda and Lynn at some Big 10 Club or 1001 Club or some bar with a number in. So Barb and I started walking and decided that we should instead go to the Stadium Club...right outside the stadium. We arrived there and it was packed - you couldn't get a drink if you're life depended upon it. So we try to squeeze in to the bar. No luck. So we're told to go around the back and try to sneak in there for cocktails. As we are squeezing thru the crowd I see this guy and say to him "hey, were you at a Packer game two years ago - that snowy Seattle play-off game?" He looks at me like a deer in the headlights. "Maybe," he replies. Barb id's him immediately, "you were the nasty drunk - remember, we were trying to get you to drink shots and you wouldn't do it?" It ALL comes flooding back to him. Now, the funniest thing is that I saw this dude a year ago at PF Chang's in Brookfield at noon in the bar area and nailed him to the cross there. 'Shaun' looked at both Barb and I, just defeated, and said 'I just can't get away from you girls.' People, I can't make this stuff up. See the two pics and you'll see what I'm talking about.
Shaun at the Badger game on 10/31.
And Shaun, at the Packer/Seattle game on 1/12/08. Watch out - I do not forget a thing! You have my word!

So we part ways with Shaun (and you can tell he is happy to get away from us...but not before posing for another photo - don't these kids learn??) and by an act of God, we meet up with Brenda and Lynn. I am thirsty, I tell them - we decide to head back towards State Street. We end up at Brother's for a few and then make our way to The Pub on State Street.
Here I am hanging with my 'posse - TJ and Lance. Hey, they were going to put up with all our abuse because we were buying their drinks. Cougars rule! Now, I am truly amazed that Barb and Brenda didn't mess up these kids because they walked in and said 'there are a lot of old people here.' haha! Won't they be whistling a different tune in 20 years!

Everyone is happy - big Badger win. Freakfest will start soon. It's Halloween. Life is good!


I have stopped drinking beer - I am full of barley pops and switch to Captain and Coke (and I have no idea why). I know Brenda was mixing and I think Barb was too - you know, I have no idea (I'll have to review the game film). Lance and TJ certainly were mixing. Good laughs. We meet up with some UP boys and start talking, what else, Packer football.
Hey, is that Brenda's finger or a really scary looking hot dog? I cannot tell?

No words necessary.
But we are having a hard time getting served - they had one bartender on staff. No lie. So Barb throws her money on the bar (what did you think I was going to say?) and this hottie says to the bartender, 'hey, this gal needs some help there.' Barb says thank you and then turns to me and says 'doesn't he kinda look like Tony Romo?' Well, open season on Tony Romo! The poor guy thought we were mocking his ears and we had to reassure him that was NOT the case. He looked like a really cute Tony Romo, sans ears. Not sure how this happened, but Barb grabbed his arm and then told me 'oh man, you gotta feel these arms - they are amazing.' Hey, you don't have to tell me twice so next thing you know, I'm feeling up his 'pipes' and Barb is and then Brenda comes over to take a pull. Now this is the most precious part...Brenda's son Lance is LIVID that she was 'gently touching' this man's amazing biceps. HAHAHA! Hey, we aren't dead and when these 'gifts' come along, we're gonna go for the gusto. I swear, I think when women hit their 40s, they turn into college frat boys. Especially when we are out en force...I'm just telling you like it is. So the 'luv fest' continues with Josh's pythons. Then someone gets a feel of his 6 pack - or as he told us, his 8 pack. Before I left, I had to get a grope so that was my goal.
Ok, I can't remember if Barb or Brenda noticed this, but the energy coming off of 'Tony Romo' was amazing. Seriously. I'm not making this up. It was. Or maybe we were having hot flashes? Doesn't matter now, does it?
I hope he didn't mind that we were treating him like a piece of prime rib.

Now, let me stop here and tell you that Lance is training for Ultimate fighting. Well, it seems Josh is too so these two are talking Ultimate fighting or whatever it is called. Barb and I are watching the clock as we have a curfew - Madeline and Ben need to be trick or treating at 5:30. I gotta get this six pack feel in and soon. Enough is enough and I just say 'Josh, I gotta get a feel of these - do you mind?' You'd be amazed at what you get when you ask for it (see the cop car photo in the 'under garment' blog - see, it works!). He even stood up so I could get the full effect. I think I fainted after that.

This was after I fainted/passed out - Brenda was trying to give me the 'heineken remover' and trying to get me re-hydrated. Thank you, B - I'm glad you have my back.

After my wish was granted, I was ready to beat it. Barb and I are late so we gotta move. Good bye, Pub. Good bye, State Street. But we decided we could squeeze in 'one more' at...the Red Shed. Barb - beer; me - LIIT (stupid). We chug and get back to the 'hood.

As we were out acting like wild animals, my mom and Kevin and Marc were taking care of the kids. Madeline had her last soccer game of the season - precious.
My god daughter is amazing - I love her so much! She's a great kid. Ok, here's the deal - Madeline is an awesome swimmer. And an awesome runner. And well, an awesome biker. She is a triathlete. Soccer player - ummm, not so much. Here we can't tell if she wants to win the face off or just go get an ice cream.
This is what it's all about - having fun!

They were also in charge of getting trick or treat bags ready and the kids ready to go out, feed them, hunt for us, cook whatever they killed - you get the picture. When we rolled in, Marc and Kevin realized that they would now be going trick or treating. Besides, we were famished, we smelled like 10 different types of alcohol and everything was so funny!
There's that f-ing mask again. If you ever want to see this, you just let me know and I'll scare the living be-jesus out of you. And there's a future Packer cheerleader - no, not Kevin...Madeline.

Elvis, a Conehead, Count Chocula, and a Badger hockey player go trick or treating - no, it's not the start of a joke, it's just what was going on here...

My mom is telling Marc that she has seen nicer looking buns in a bakery! Kevin is wondering where 'tight *ss' Marc has stashed the bottle of Admiral Nelson. I'm confused - mushy buns or tight *ss?? Stop the insanity!

So off the boys went. We gobbled pizza and well, I have no idea what else we did for the next two hours. All I know is that after that, I was tired. I slept on the living room floor - then I slept in Ben's bed until Kevin yelled at me to get up - then I went back to the living room floor and then, screw it, I just went to bed. I had to finish this triathlon in a respectable fashion (when do the words 'respectable' and 'drinking' go together - think about it?).

Now, when I woke up at 3:30 on Sunday morning I was ready to give my Packer ticket to the first taker. Did I get hit by a truck yesterday? I'm pretty sure of it. I dozed on and off until 7 and then peeled myself up. Pepsi, please. But the beautiful thing is that Kevin felt like he was beat up too. Barb as well. Marc is the only one who didn't come clean and I'm sure he was lying (hey, Barb and Marc ended up going to a neighborhood halloween party for two hours after I went to sleep - what the?). We all snacked on Mr. Freezes and Pepsi and soda crackers - breakfast of champions!!
I think this is another one where no words are necessary.

Kevin and Marc are true athletes or sadists...they went and biked part of the Ironman bike loop. God bless 'em! I showered, grabbed a bagel and hit the road. Really, I now did NOT want to go to that Packer game. Maybe my women's intuition was telling me something, huh? But back to Pickett I boogied.

Now, since I felt like a freight train hit me, I was not going to drink. Nothing sounded good. In fact, it still doesn't. I got back to Pickett. Changed into my Packer costume and hit the road. I decided I was going to take-in the atmosphere for this game, instead of not remembering how I even got into the stadium for a change. So I did just that - I walked around. There was a LOT of purple there. Too much purple. I saw the Viqueens roll in. I walked around the media lot for a while. I did a lot of people watching. And 99.9% of the purple fans were nice and just liked to rib Mrs. Rodgers. I can take it.
What the???
Who's the shave bag in this photo?? Shorts? F. Pathetic.

That shorts idea was dumb. It was so cold - colder than Saturday. And blowing the button was a major downer. I needed to get into the stadium and get some help. So I ate some 'hangover food' - french fries and felt better. Met up with Kim and Tim and Jeff and Mike and Paul. When you're not drinking, you can tell when everyone else is. I'm sure I sound much more intelligent than these people when I'm drinking - hahaha!
I don't think these crazy kids miss a game, to tell you the truth.

Anyhow, my goal was to be IN MY SEAT when Aaron was announced. He had to get the welcome that he was due. And it was a pretty electric crowd. Yes, #4 was boo'd - what did you expect? What did he expect? All in fun. And yes, the Packers and #12 got the LOVE that they needed when they entered. Too bad the coaching staff pulled back the defense AGAIN against the Vikings (and if any of you are keeping track, Woodson made comments after the first Viking game; and now Jenkins said the same thing after this game). You don't think they were told by the NFL to do that, do you? Hmmm? I'm just connecting the dots.
This is one of the only photos I have of Aaron upright - don't go there, got it? Why don't they block him? I just don't get it. It makes me sad.

Well, you know the rest of the story. Terrible first half - a great comeback that fell short in the second half. I yelled my fool head off, much to the dismay of those around me. My stupid snuggie did NOTHING to keep me warm. I was shaking I was so cold. I didn't even leave my seat at halftime. I am never that cold. I think someone slipped something in one of my LIIT's at the Red Shed - I'm sure of it. Long/short of it - I HIT THE WALL!! It felt like it was 10 pm and it was 6 pm. When the fat lady sang right after the two minute warning, I hit the road. I guess I just didn't train enough for this three day drinking extravaganza. I'm a little disappointed and realize how important it is to SERIOUSLY train for something of this magnitude. I will never make this same mistake again. A valuable lesson was learned. I truly am em-BARE-ASSED! :)

And there still is no joy in titletown...